MOWING

At age 13, I mowed the lawn
Finally allowed for the first time
Brothers all gone to college
Sisters married away
No other need for the preteen
One leftover child in the 70’s
The last child alone
Just me….

Knobby spindly legs
Dangling from short
short short shorts
Long hair flying
Push mower spinning
Me, mowing the lawn
In bare feet
Just me….

At 15 I tried to mow the lawn
We had bought one of those
New power mower things
And all were excited to use it
My boyfriend, all 6 foot 4 of him,
Elbowed me out of the way
As he poured in the gasoline
And left me there, watching
Alone, on the sidelines
Just me….

Boy, did he look good!
Bronzed muscles rippling
Under white shirt over khaki
Whipping ‘round corners
Winking to my direction
Each time a lap was complete
“He must really love me”
I thought in my naivety
Just me….

He blew out the motor that day
In his fervor of self-admiration
He had pushed
Rather than let it pull
Poor mower didn’t look so good
We took the defective thing back,
And I, again, mowed with the spinner
In bare feet, alone
Just me….

My fiancé mowed the lawn
Of our intended honeymoon home
His grandma’s secret garden
Full of honeysuckle, roses and bees
He paused, to rip out the plants
Saying “They’re old, defunct, a mess!”
Some primitive mating ritual game
Was his manly chuckling at me
As I helplessly watched the razing
Alone, amid the death
Just me….

My husband mowed the lawn
As our children grew into us
Preparing vials of chemicals
Banning child and dog alike
Man, the lawn looked really good
Not a flower or a leaf in the place
Just unrequited grass
Alternate with unrelenting cement
And I watched, from the windows
Alone, amid the sterility
Just me….

My children mowed the lawn
Counting times till they could buy
Keeping magazines
Beneath their beds
Of all their newfound heart desires
Of things to make them look good
And I watched as their needs changed
From hugs to fun to dollar signs
Alone, amid their plans
Just me….

I mowed the lawn today
Nearly 60, and considered “spry”
I left the volunteer hyacinth
Patch untouched on one side
And the dandelions are still long
To feed the bees
Till other flowers grow
The yard didn’t look so good
When I got done mowing the lawn
But neither do I when I accidentally
Look in a mirror at me
Just me….

They tell me to hire a boy
“It’s unseemly for you to mow”
And I reply, “Why do you need
“To take my child out of me?”
And I smile secretively
At my yard, full of bees
And the grateful hyacinths
Wave back at me
Just me….

By cindy
5/13/2017